The rest of the weekend :)

I totally enjoyed the whole of the weekend away, I know at times we got some strange looks, whether because we were two lesbians or because people could see Amber was really a man I dont know, but to be honest I didn't really care and it got to the point where I didnt notice, I was just happy that I was at Ambers side knowing that we love each other dearly :) One thing that amused me was to see Amber playing computer games, it reminded me that despite her being very femme she still likes to blow things up etc... I left her and Tim to it and did what I do best and chat on the internet! We didnt really do much on sunday, I spent most of the day sleeping as having two days on the booze, late nites and early mornings coupled with my new meds left me stupidily tired.

I dont recall mentioning that I have been diagnosed with borderline personaility disorder, I ownt go into too much detail as its a very personal thing and I dont know who is likely to read this, \but it expalins all the things I have been going through in the last few years. I also know that if I didnt have Amber I would have fallen to pieces a few months ago (what about the ex-hubby I hear a few people say) I was on a very slippery downward slope, I knew where I was going to end up and I dont think he could have helped me, he didnt know how and despite being a really nice bloke he was very controlling.

Amber knew not tot take any of my shite and knew how to help me to the point of foircing me just enough to do things, stopping me from staying at home and wallowing :)

Back to this weekend....on sunday I had a low moment, Knowing that I was going to be drinking, I didnt take my saturday eve pills and this hit me on sunday as I felt very low so I did what I do best and hid in bed, snuggled up with pooh bear (yip he came with me) Amber left me to it and come n woke me up at 6pm thinking it was about time I woke up so that I would sleep sunday night!

On monday I was a biut gutted to be going back home, despite bneing desparate for my own bed and to see my babies (cats in case you were wondering) I didint want the weekend to end as I had a whole weekend of Amber and we were quite close, having really good snuggles of a night time and such.

When we got home on Monday it was nice to see that AMber had recieved a letter from the GP with regards tgo the councelling, needing to fill in the paperworkl and sending it back (as of yet she has not done this but I noticed she has been reading the literarture)

THis morning saw the true end of the weekend, having to go to work, this also saw the return of 'Bob' mode, Amber says that regardless ofg the outside she is the same person. However Bob has a different attitude to Amber, mainly in the speech and the way things are said. Does this bother me, mostly it dfoesnt but deepo down it does, I am ashamed of this as I know that I should not be bothered by any aspect of Amber, as all of these small things make up the bigger picture.